Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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