im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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