She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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