You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
we're so committed to being not committed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
