Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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