I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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