Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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