is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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