:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
