those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
