I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
