Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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