that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
