just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
