There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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