3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
