allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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