I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
