so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
