I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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