Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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