his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
