They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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