Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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