The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
