Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
