I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
