Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize