She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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