Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
