we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
