wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize