I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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