I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
