Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize