bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
