I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
