I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
