There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it's like iHOP with fire
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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