she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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