you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
