i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
