Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm eating all of the evidence.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
