my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
