I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
