did you get engaged???
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
