Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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