If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
