I just cut my nipple shaving
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
