i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Farmville is her only friend.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
