u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
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