If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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