Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize