no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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