On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize