babies were throwing up all over the place
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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