I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
