Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
