Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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