Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
