Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize