My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
