No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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