Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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